"Organized youth sport is a valuable form of recreation for millions of children (Weinberg & Gould, 2007) made possible by substantial adult involvement (Weiss & Fretwell, 2005). Coaches and parents can be a source of support or a source of stress throughout the "sport careers" of young athletes (Fredricks & Eccles, 2004; Smith & Smoll, 2007). Some adults may behave in ways that promote stress in children simply because they do not understand how children want them to behave (Omli, LaVoi, & Wiese-Bjornstal, 2008)."
-From Kids Speak Project
We hear the extreme stories in the news: "Youth league parent jailed for punching coach (or umpire)".
Umpires tell me there is more yelling and jeers from parents at youth levels than at the high school and college levels.
We see it in more subtle ways in players as a youth league coach.
- Coaching kids from the stands or by the fence, kids do worse because they are confused that the coach is telling them one thing and a parent another.
- Parents who criticize for every out or error that leads to kids being overly critical of their own performance. The exceedingly high expectations parents place on them can't be met so kids tense up and under-perform.
So what's the primary solution? The development of new educational programs for parents at the local league levels? A greater emphasis in umpires ejecting parents for disruptive behavior?
The simple solution is to listen to what your kids want.
What do they want? According to Dr. Jens Omil, of the Institute Child Development at the University of Minnesota, who asked kids as part of the Kids Speak project, here are the Top 10 Things Kids Want Parents to Do at Youth Sport Events:
- Go to their games and watch them play.
- Tell them that they did a good job.
- Clap after their team does something good.
- Encourage them after the game if their team lost.
- Encourage them while they are playing.
- Control your own emotions.
- Say “good try” if they make a mistake.
- Bring treats for them and their teammates.
- Take pictures or video of the game while they play.
- Compliment the umpire or referee if they make a good call.
And here are the Top 5 Things Kids DO NOT Want Parents to do at Youth Sports Events:
- Tell them to break the rules.
- Swear or say “bad words” loud enough for them to hear.
- Say mean things to the other team or umpires.
- Yell at them if they make a mistake.
- Argue with parents from the other team.
Pass this article along to parents, coaches or anyone associated with youth sports. Let's have a great season out there.
